Domestic Abuse - Never Thought It Would Happen To Me

I NEVER thought I would be a victim. I NEVER thought I would be a statistic.  But like people say: NEVER say NEVER.  Everything that could happen to me happened.  The abuse was real.  The abuser was cold. He took joy, it seemed, in seeing how long I could last.  It got so bad that he would play mind games, just to get me worked up, only to admit that it was just "a game" or just "a joke".  There was nothing that anyone could physically do for me, because mentally and emotionally, I was stuck.  I felt like I was in a deep pit, and if you passed by it you could see me, but you couldn't help me because I kinda didn't want to be helped.  I wanted help, but I was afraid of losing him, SMH.  I was almost out of my mind at that point, to want help, but afraid to ask for it.  I didn't think people would believe me, especially because of the persona I displayed - CeCi = tough - CeCi = energetic - CeCi = takes no shit; but it can happen to the best of us!  What's even more, I found out that it was a family cycle for the women to be abused..........it happened to my grandmothers, my mother, aunts, but why hadn't anyone said anything?!  I'm not blaming them.  In fact I respect them because they made it thru, but I'm going to be the one to break the silence.  Abuse is REAL.  Abuse can kill a person's spirit.  Abuse can be avoided if only there is that one person who is not afraid or ashamed to talk about it.