No Pictures

I was trying to find some photos of me from when I was in a relationship with Guy, but I guess I never really had time to take any because I was sure that I wasn't cute enough.  I was literally searching through all of my pictures on Facebook and what I found were photos that were before Guy and I got together and shortly after he got locked up.  In this photo, I was fresh out of our relationship and I had no idea of where I wanted to go, who I wanted to be, well I did have an idea, but I wasn't so sure it was going to workout for me.  I had been so used to feeling unpretty, that the idea of modeling was baffling.  What would Guy say if I told him that I wanted to model?  He would either laugh at me and blow it off or he would ignore me, yet figure out a way to make me feel inadequate, better yet, he might grab me by my neck until I couldn't breath and all I had strength to do was cry.
I think I was in a dark place before I entered into a relationship with him, but I thought that being with him would somehow help me get better, get back to who I was, but hell, he didn't even know who he was.  I was fresh out of another relationship, didn't even give myself time to breath, then went from one extreme to another, from a loser to a nut case.