Wow, I posted this picture to my Facebook months ago, well over a year or two now, but tonight after my first blog post for my book, I saw this picture and it reminded me of how I felt during those 3 years. Of course my relationship with Guy didn't start off rocky, but within 4 months of being with him, everything went sour and I was already in too deep. I felt trapped, like the bars that I'm holding in this photo, I couldn't break free from that relationship or at least it felt that way. The white, bright background reminds me of what I made people believe about me during that relationship. I made it seem like I was the happiest girl in the world. I made people believe that Guy was everything that a girl could ever want in a man, but behind closed doors, I would lay on my couch, in the dark of night and literally cry myself to sleep. I would lay on the couch sobbing like a baby because he had said something to hurt me or he had cheated on me and I was distraught. If anyone came over or called me during one of those crying sessions, I would sit up really fast, wipe my face, try to get my voice back right and act like everything was good or like I had just got up from a good nap. I felt trapped. I didn't want to be alone, I was tired of being abused, but I didn't think any of my friends, my sorority sisters, no one could possibly understand what I was going thru. So I stayed with him. He was the only person at the time who knew exactly what I was going thru because I was going thru it with him. It took me 3 years and 4 months to break free and try to start living life again, but you would have never known because I was a great actress.
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