Insecure

Have you ever been in a relationship, thinking you were all that and a bag of chips, but then reality slaps you in the face and you suddenly realize that you've in the relationship by your damn self the entire time?  That's what it was like for me.  For someone on the outside looking in, my relationship with that Guy was what the young folks call "Relationship Goals" status because he was fine, athletic and fine - that's all he had to offer unfortunately, but I was there for it.  I allowed myself to stay within an abusive situation because of aesthetics, vanity, and insecurities.  I'm here to tell ya'll, insecurities will break a person down if you let it.  I believe that people in jail were insecure before they committed the crime, probably because they thought they had something to prove to someone.  I believe that women like myself, at that time, stay in abusive relationships because they/we are/were insecure, that man, at that particular time, is what we thought we needed to get by - at least that's what I thought.  I was wrong.  Instead of building me up, he took every chance he could to tear me down and I LET HIM.  Yes, I allowed him to tear me down, because I was settling, I didn't seek God first and I thought that I had everything under control - but I lost myself.  I was already broken upon entering that relationship, but staying in it and remaining in it until I was worn out, really broke me.  Unfortunately, it took every negative thing he could think to do to me to make me wake up, run and never look back.